Time once more for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Challenge. This week the prompts are:

1.) Ask A Dad! Write a letter asking your husband for advice regarding any issue you might have and record his answer.
(inspired by Three Bay B Chicks)

2.) Describe a situation that forced you to confront a neighbor.
(inspired by Jori-O)

3.)Tell us about Grandpa.
(inspired by Heather at The Extraordinary Ordinary)

4.) Which appliance in your home would you most miss living without if you had to live without.
(inspired by Amy at Escape Into My Thoughts)

5.) What are three things we would love to know about you!
(inspired by Live. Laugh. Pull Your Hair Out)

My answers might be short and sweet tonight since I started with the radio show this morning, traveled the 125 miles to Denver to spend the afternoon in meetings with lawyers and then traveled back just in time to spend the evening in the EMS committee meeting. It will depend on how long I can keep my eyes open how much I write.

#1 – An easy one! Since I am a Dad, I can ask myself.
Q: Why does it take longer to clean up after cooking than it takes to eat?
A: I don’t know – that is why I asked! Dummy!.

#2 – Many years ago when L and I lived in a suburb of Chicago, in an apartment complex. One Saturday night there came the sound of a woman screaming desperately for help in the hall. I stepped out the door just in time to see her pulled back into the apartment across the hall followed by the distinctive sounds of someone smacking someone else hard and whimpering cries for help. I sent L to call the police and knocked on the door, The man opened the door and told me to go away, he was busy. He then slammed the door in my face. A seemingly endless amount of time later the police arrived. The woman refused to press charges, so there wasn’t much they could do. Needless to say, relations were a bit strained thereafter when I saw either of that couple in the hall.


#3 – I have talked about my grandfathers before at some length. Please check out Grandfathers.

#4 – Do you mean level 1 appliances or level 2 appliances? For level 1 appliances it would be a real toss-up between the stove and the refrigerator. The stove so I can cook and the refrigerator so that I don’t have to buy my food within an hour of cooking and eating it. I kind of like cooking on my schedule and being able to store and preserve food. At level 2, I have to say the microwave. The speed and convenience of preparing food, especially leftovers in a microwave cannot be beat. And of course we wouldn’t want to forget such conveniences as hot tea and microwave popcorn and …

#5 – Well, that is a tough three. How about:

1. I have a gray beard and hair
2. I have a farmer tan
3. I sometimes wear rather eye stretching Hawaiian shirts

Just to illustrate, here is a recent picture of me from the local paper as I addressed the Rotary club. Note the gray hair and beard, the farmer tan so evident on the right arm, and the Hawaiian shirt (muted to save your vision).

Time once more for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Challenge. This week the prompts are:

1.) Tell us about a “dirt cheap” you’ve taken this summer.
(inspired by Anti-Supermom)

2.) When I grow up I want to be like…
(inspired by Jenny Says What?)

3.) Describe a difficult moment that you survived.
(inspired by Sarah M.)

4.) List 5 things you like to do while camping…or 5 places you’d like to go.
(inspired by Kisatrtle)

5.) What are you paranoid about?
(inspired by Melissa)

What is the best prompt for me this week?

#1 – I can eliminate this right off the bat. The only place I have been this summer is to the corporate meeting with L in Vail. Although it was dirt cheap to me, since I was playing corporate wife, I still don’t think it qualifies as a dirt cheap in this sense.




#2 – Who I want to be like when I grow up could be seen as redundant. Many people would claim I am already grown up. But in one of those oddities of life, the older you get, the more it seems like so many things might be possible (and yet there are any number of other things that become physically harder). The person I would most like to emulate as I age would have to be be Richard P. Feynman. He carried on an intense and wide ranging interest and intellectual curiosity in the world right up to his death.

I still remember a conversation I had with him all the way back in my graduate school days. In it he happened to mention that he didn’t think that one of the fashionable models of reality that was making the rounds of speculation at the time would turn out to be viable. When I asked him why he thought that way, he said he had a very simple rule for determining if he really understood some part of physics. If he could understand the outcome using a simple mental model that required no insane mathematical finesse to work, he felt he was probably on the right track. The theory in question failed that test and was later shown to be wrong. I always thought that was pretty good advice coming from a Nobel laureate and great all around physicist.

#3 – I have survived a number of difficult moments in my life. So many that it is in fact it is hard to choose just one. I guess I’ll go with the time I was the tensest and most worried in my life.

Where I went to graduate school, there were three main criteria for getting a doctorate in physics. The first was a written test on all of physics (the qualifier). The second was a specific oral exam before a committee to determine if you were smart enough and/or capable enough to proceed to do original research (the oral). The third was a thesis of original research, published in refereed journals, and approved by a thesis committee (the thesis defense).

The qualifier was given once a year at the start of the academic year. It was a three day exam, from 8am to 5pm with an hour off for lunch. You got two chances to pass it or your career as a graduate student was over. I had only minimal doubt about the qualifier and passed on the first try. I can only say that some of the most socially awkward scenes in graduate school occurred the day the results came out and your friend and colleague had not passed on their last attempt. What can you say to them? What can they say to you?

Unlike the qualifier, the oral was scheduled once you had passed the qualifier and proven proficiency in the core curriculum (electromagnetic fields, mechanics, quantum mechanics, statistical mechanics, quantum field theory, etc.) The committee to examine you was selected by the university, not you or your advisor. I was the first one in my incoming cohort of graduate students to be scheduled for my oral, so information was a bit sketchy as to how bad it really was. My friends were almost funereal when they saw my committee. Of the seven committee members, I happened to get three of the most cantankerous and anti-graduate student professors in the institution. And that was just the physics professors. There was also a professor from mathematics, another from applied science, one from the medical school, and one humanities professor.

At the duly appointed hour, I showed up for my oral, as nervous and as tense as could be. I recognized the three physics professors, but hadn’t met any of the others. The first hour was pretty simple questions, more like brain warm-ups than serious kill the graduate student questions. The second hour specialized in more and more detailed questions, some of which had no answer. Questions like “why is the sky blue?” (Raleigh scattering) and “prove that a modified version of the MVT holds in the presence of a countable number of singularities.” interspersed with off the wall ones like “what would happen if all people grew five inches taller?” All pretty simple if sometimes tediously long to work out on the blackboard. And then I was asked the question that left me blank. I literally have no memory from then to the end of the oral. To this day I cannot remember what the question was. All I remember is that it was asked by the professor from the medical school. I must have had a good answer, because I passed. But that was the first and last time in my life where I have had that kind of a stress induced blank out.

Needless to say, after the oral ordeal, defending my thesis was trivial.

#4 – An easy one. I DO NOT LIKE TO CAMP! Years of camping as a Boy Scout left me with a firm preference not to camp. So you all can camp out, but I am going to be staying over there at the cabin that has running water, a bed, a stove, electric lights, and maybe even a heater or air conditioner. I’ll see you in the morning.

#5 – It’s not paranoia if they really are out to get you. Actually, I am probably one of the least paranoid people around. I have a deep seated belief that people will do the right thing if you let them. If they don’t, then they just aren’t a part of my life for long. Because I believe in people, people sense it and generally do the right thing. So I don’t have to waste time being paranoid.

Time once more for Mama Kat‘s Writer’s Challenge. This time with special sauce and a prompt from yours truly. The prompts:

1.) Mother’s guilt…tell us what happened.
(inspired by Lolli)

2.) Write five “Incredibly Short Books”. Some examples:

“Chemical Contraception Choices for Catholic Couples”
“Teenage U.S. Presidents”
“The Book of Female Popes”
“The 2008 Book of General Motors Profits”

Dan says, “The point is that the book is of zero size since the title is a contradiction with reality.”
(inspired by Dan)

3.) I’ll be happy when ________________.
(inspired by Tracy P.)

4.) Relay an interesting conversation you recently had with someone that may or may not involve creating a Loch Ness Monster Theme Park.
(inspired by Jen)

5.) Show us something you made!
(inspired by Janis)

#1 – Mother’s guilt. I have to leave this one unfilled since I am not a mother. Besides, as we all know, fathers never suffer from guilt. {*grin*}

#2 – Incredibly Short Books. I am honored, nay tickled pink to have a prompt inspired by me. My must read list of Incredibly Short Books includes:

• Quantum Gravity for Dummies
• The Pictorial History of Overweight Playboy Centerfolds
• Heart Healthy Deep Fried Food
• The Well Rested Newborn Parent
• The Ugly Plastic Surgeon

BTW, the idea of short books came from Indie 101.5 FM, an eclectic radio station out of the Denver area.

#3 – I’ll be happy when … I’ll be happy when the weather once more turns to the cooler nights of fall. I’ll be happy when I have a real job. I’ll be happy to see L tomorrow.

#4 – Interesting Conversation. This morning as I was walking across the Wal-Mart parking lot to speak at the Grand Re-Opening after the remodel, I ran into a local attorney named Alex. I asked him what he was doing up at 8am for the gala. His reply: “Somebody good looking had to be invited to make up for all the rest of you people in attendance.” Think Alex might be just a little bit vain? One of the newspaper reporters couldn’t resist remarking, “If Alex spent as much time on law as he does on his appearance, he’d be on the supreme court by now.” It really is funny because Alex is not truly that vain, he just likes to cultivate that appearance.

#5 – Something I made. I made this little windmill a long time ago. It has set on top of my book case in the office here fo somewhere between 15 and 20 years, I looks somewhat like the one I remember from my grandparents farm in my childhood.

Time once more for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Challenge. This week the prompt I am going to consider is:

2.) How do you stave off boredom?
(inspired by Jenn’s Pen)

This is a question with a million answers for me. I love to read (sci-fi, mystery, science, magazines, just about any genre), I love to golf, I love to noodle on my computer, I love to read text books for graduate level math and physics, I love walking the streets and parks of town, … So for me, the real issue is seldom how to stave off bordom, but rather how to make enough time to pursue all the things I love to do.

You will notice that nowhere did I mention a love of attending meetings in my list. That is because I don’t. But in the current job, there seem to be more of them that any one person should have to suffer through. So, since I spend so much time in meetings, many of them prone to being as interesting as watching paint dry, let’s modify the question to “How do I stave off boredom in meetings?”

Some further restrictions to make it harder to avoid boredom:

• No handheld electronic devices
• No hidden IPod masquerading as a hearing aide
• No Richard Nixon mask to hide your face
• No holographic movie projection system attached to your glasses
• No hiring a sit-in to take your place

Method #1: A pad of paper and a Pilot G-2 pen should always be in your hand as you arrive for the meeting. That way you can doodle to your heart’s content with the smooth feel of flowing ink. Even if you have no artistic skills what-so-ever, you can enjoy making caricatures of the other attendees.

Method #2: Multiple games of tic-tac-toe. Even more exciting if the person sitting beside you joins in.

Method #3: Make up new and exciting quotes by famous people that they never said. For extra boredom avoidance, the quotes should be splices of the actual quotes from real people. E.g. “I regret that I have but one country in which I am not so famous.” – Patrick H. Berger. (The two base quotes for forming this spliced quote are givin in the first comment.)

Method #4: Count the ceiling tiles, count the number of holes in one tile, then use the results to calculate an estimate of the holes in the entire ceiling. For extra boredom avoidance potential, estimate the size of a tile and form an estimate of the areal hole density.

Method #5: Strangle yourself with your shoelace. This can be especially challenging if you are wearing slip-on shoes.